A constant state of flux

Friday 7th December – 66 days since diagnosis; 38 days after (first) surgery I have started this post so many times in the 4 weeks since my last … So much to say, yet so difficult to commit to the written word.  How to convey the emotions and rapidly cycling, fluctuating thoughts?  I begin withContinue reading “A constant state of flux”

Do I have to be brave?

Saturday November 10th – 39 days since diagnosis; 17 days after surgery Yesterday I ventured out alone. I drove for the first time since my surgery and did some food shopping.  If you had happened to see me in Sainsbury’s you wouldn’t know I had cancer or that I was recovering from surgery.  I lookContinue reading “Do I have to be brave?”

Women are dying from embarrassment ..

Tuesday November 6th – five weeks since diagnosis; 13 days after surgery This week is Vulval Cancer Awareness week. I would like to encourage all the women out there to get to know your vulva.  Women are dying from embarrassment – and that is just plain sad and stupid. Would you be able to spotContinue reading “Women are dying from embarrassment ..”

Peeing like a sumo wrestler …

Tuesday October 30th – 28 days after diagnosis; 6 days after surgery It was four weeks ago today that I was given the news I had cancer.  A short period of calm descended, before the strange surreal limbo kicked in.   My limbo was in part characterised by thoughts of doom and gloom.  Now, I’m aContinue reading “Peeing like a sumo wrestler …”

Kinky Boots versus Kill Bill: the night before the knife

Tuesday October 23rd (just before midnight) – three weeks after diagnosis An air of calm has descended; I’ll take that for however long it lasts – probably until lunch time tomorrow.  Today I met with my consultant surgeon.  He calmly explained my procedure – the purpose, the risks, my right to choose … and askedContinue reading “Kinky Boots versus Kill Bill: the night before the knife”

Sarah Millican, Sigourney Weaver and the parasitic knicker beast

Tuesday October 23rd (the wee small hours) – three weeks after diagnosis I’ve lived the last two weeks in some strange existence of near physical immobilisation brought about by uncontrollable racing thoughts all competing for my attention.  The result – I was totally overwhelmed.  I found it difficult to leave the house, to reply toContinue reading “Sarah Millican, Sigourney Weaver and the parasitic knicker beast”

Wonder Woman and the Big Knickers

Tuesday October 9th – one week after diagnosis. I have been overwhelmed by the response to my first blog post.  Such warm, thoughtful, supportive messages from friends, colleagues and people whose lives I have touched – some who I have never met.  It is these messages that have taken me aback. “You have inspired meContinue reading “Wonder Woman and the Big Knickers”

The sorry state of my lady parts …

Tuesday 2nd October 2018.  A mature (more mature than me ….), bespectacled consultant gynaecologist, donned in white with latex gloves, with the now requisite nurse chaperone in attendance, gently teased his fingers where no man has put his fingers for quite some time now … No more than 30 seconds; that’s all it took. “I’mContinue reading “The sorry state of my lady parts …”